A Message from the Beast

Going For It!

the beastA Message from the Beast

Oh look! I did it again. I took down another famous one. Regardless of power, wealth, success, or resources, I win. Nothing can stop me. I can get anyone. Even you. Even some of the people who mourned his death and cursed me for my existence went home after the funeral and gave themselves to me. They couldn’t help it. They used his death and their sadness as reasons to continue with me.

Some may think that his death will help fight me, but it won’t. Do you think I’ve weakened since Michael? Hah! I have people in the palm of my hands because they think they need my collaborators (alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, pills, etc.) to cope with life. They believe they need something more than what life offers. They feel they’re not good enough or life’s not good enough so they try to intensify…

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A Message from the Beast

the beastA Message from the Beast

Oh look! I did it again. I took down another famous one. Regardless of power, wealth, success, or resources, I win. Nothing can stop me. I can get anyone. Even you. Even some of the people who mourned his death and cursed me for my existence went home after the funeral and gave themselves to me. They couldn’t help it. They used his death and their sadness as reasons to continue with me.

Some may think that his death will help fight me, but it won’t. Do you think I’ve weakened since Michael? Hah! I have people in the palm of my hands because they think they need my collaborators (alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, pills, etc.) to cope with life. They believe they need something more than what life offers. They feel they’re not good enough or life’s not good enough so they try to intensify or nullify their experiences.

I especially love all the party people. The “let’s get together and put stuff in our bodies to see how it feels” group. It’s so easy to do my job when you have people who want to escape reality so they can relax, fit in, let loose, or “have fun?” Following my directive to trap as many people as possible and never let them go is so easy.

I am so happy that people are afraid to live their lives without substances that temporarily make them feel better or different. I mean, who would have thought that a living being would give up all their possessions and loved ones for a moment, for a high? It’s an amazing gig. I offer a few moments of pleasure or release and these moments become more important than anything else. Oh, the power!

I’m sneaky too. I come to you when you’re young. I come through music, media, your family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends…anyone, but usually through someone you know. Yep, I use the ones you love the most to get to you. Even when I’ve caused incredible pain and suffering to children by destroying their parents, I can still get the children to follow me. I have genetic powers. People like to forget that and they play with my collaborators, denying that there’s any chance they’ll come my way.

Then there are all my helpers. So many people who live with me show others how to do the same. They don’t want to be alone with me so they practically recruit my new victims. With them, I can take down humans from all walks of life. My best allies are those people who like to lower their inhibitions, to be a little out of control. They forget where it might lead. Better yet, they think that it will never happen to them.

Of course there are those who know it could happen to them. They respect my power and they fear my ability to control. They aren’t willing to open my door.  They’ve learned from others who’ve followed me and they live a life without my collaborators. I don’t like those people.  There don’t seem to be too many of them. Even those who only play with my collaborators once in a while help me expose young ones to me, so I like them, but those who don’t partake at all, they piss me off.

It’s okay though, I am still winning. The government tries to stop me. Churches and counselors try to stop me. Police try too, but I laugh in all of their faces. I take some of them with me during the fight. I am giddy with joy. My success surpasses all! I’m a gold medalist all over the world.

I know there are many people who hate me and want me to stop taking lives, but they can’t do anything about me. Well, they can offer counseling and worsen punishments, but until every human being understands that anyone, I mean anyone, can be my victim, people will continue to act arrogantly and walk through my doors with the intentions of leaving, but not be able to.

To those who won’t let me in, I will get them too. I will get them by taking someone they love, maybe an uncle, son, or daughter. There are no limits to where I go. No one is safe. Humans will never learn. There will always be those who think I will never own them. Oh, the arrogance. I’m stronger than Mother Nature. I can make a mother sell her children for more of me or a father drive drunk with his kids in the car…or worse. Doubt me? Come give me a try. So many people are doing it, why not you?

Yours Truly,

ADDICTION

Invited? You Mean Me?

Invited? You Mean Me?

Moving, uprooting yourself and your family to a new location is life changing on so many leveImagels. It takes you away from your comfort zones, your friends, your familiar places and faces. When I relocated to Northern California at age 39, I’d already moved 28 times in my life. At the end of the month, it will be move number 31. I hope it’s the last one for many years.

I’m grateful that this time I’m not starting over with new people, new streets, new job, new everything. Many times in the past, I’ve moved to places where I haven’t known anyone. Over and over, I’ve had to learn my way around and reach out to people and communities to create a new life for myself. Although I like a good challenge, I have to admit that changing so much can be exhausting.

The most difficult time has been relocating to where I am now, a new area far from everything familiar. Then two years later life threw divorce and 50% custody on top of it. At a time when I needed friends and family the most, I had no one nearby, no one. My one friend of 24 years who lived nearby took sides, not mine. I lost all contact with my in-laws as they too chose sides. The loneliness hurt. I spent many weekends going to bookstores and movies alone or just staying home hoping that someday, my new life would feel comfortable and that I’d have friends nearby again.

During these last seven years, I’ve met many people who have lived in the same town their entire lives or for a long time. They seem to have a great social life full of family and friends who frequently gather and invite them to do things. They don’t seem to struggle to find someone to see a movie with or to invite over for dinner. They are never alone on special days. There’s always someone around for them. Time in one place has made them part of the community.

As a newbie and outsider, it takes a while to feel like you’re part of the community. If you don’t know anyone and you’re not related to anyone nearby, who’s going to invite you to go anywhere and who are you going to invite? It’s difficult, at least it has been for me, to build a social life in a place where I just haven’t spent much time. It never was this hard before, but this time, as a divorced single parent who works full-time in a small community, it’s been challenging. My belief that worrying about making friendImages was a problem of adolescence has completely changed.

It’s taken several years, but the ship has finally landed. This year, I was actually invited to a barbeque! I know, shut the front door. Better yet, for the second year in a row, I’ve spent Super Bowl Sunday at a good friend’s house. It seems simple and a little silly, but being invited by someone to come over and hang out is a pretty big deal for me. It’s the simple stuff that can mean so much, especially for someone like me who asked to go to a coworker’s house on Christmas one year because I had nowhere else to go and I didn’t have my son for the holiday. That was a definite low.

Sitting in a house full of people, feeling comfortable, able to joke around, eat good food, and enjoy a really bad football game together was just what this girl from far away needed. I have missed those moments so much. They haven’t happened a lot since relocating and divorcing. Being invited, being part of, belonging, we all want to feel these things. Some of us have it handed to us through family and living in the same place for years. Some of us don’t. We may not admit it because it’s embarrassing, but some of us who are building a new life practically jump for joy when an invitation comes our way. I’m thankful, so thankful for those people who have reached out and let me into their worlds. In every place I’ve moved, I’ve been so lucky to meet new people who were willing to let a new friend into their lives. One hundred thanks to every onImagee who invites new people in, who opens their lives and their hearts. You inspire me to do the same.